Whoa Mama

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Nobody Ever Said It Was Going To Be Easy.

Here’s why Tiger Woods sucks.

He betrayed his wife and the sanctity of his marriage.

He embarrassed himself, shamed his mother and degraded his honor.

And because his wife is going to pack up their kids and leave him.

She’s going to move to a remote island because she can and he’s going to get a visit with his children from time to time with long vacations thrown in.

Their children will never lack for a material item that man can create or money can buy. But when one of those sweet babies gets a leg cramp in the middle of the night, who is going to lay with them and rub it out? Who is going to tie ice skates, pack lunches and dry them off after showers? Not to mention set limits, teach manners and read stories.

Sure, the nanny will pick them up from school, the housekeeper will tidy up after them and the personal chef will put healthy meals before them. But if someone else does that, than you miss the goods: who did what today, who spilled the paint, who gets to be the line leader, the play-by-play events in this week’s library book, theories on why mittens take so long to dry, quizzes on what would happen if [insert child of choice] came out of the belly with four hands holding light sabres, what the song of the week is (not to mention the *singing* of the song of the week). All of which were topics hit tonight somewhere around picking the boys up, tying ice skates, drying off from showers, dinner and storytime.

We all own our choices. Right up until we are parents. Then we own our choices and apply their effects to our own. So either do the right thing, or don’t have children.

I, as I am certain do you, personally know plenty of men (and women) who have had opportunity, desire, even cause for infidelity, but instead chosen to honor their vows, respect their families and show their integrity.

My grandma had a plaque in her kitchen which summed up the 40 years she spent with my grandpa, (both of whom I adore), it read “Nobody ever said it was going to be easy”. Raising five of your own children and countless stoppers-in, living with life’s day-to-day challenges and the unexpected compromises of living out someone else’s dreams, managing life on a farm and watching your life’s partner die an ugly, cancer-decayed death, all while feeding everybody, my grandma knows a thing or two about easy. She and my grandpa adored each other, in all of their faults, through all of the trials and with strength born from weathering life's events together. No one broadcasts the challenges life will throw at you, but hurdling the chaos will come. I am certain that I only know a fraction of what Miles & Shirley lived, but what I know is enough to inspire my awe.

When she emerged from the grief and realized there were many years before her, my grandma ultimately re-married. She left the second home she’d ever had and gave me the sign. It now hangs in my kitchen as a prayer to the marriage and family that I cherish.

Spoiled and undisciplined and lazy. Tiger Woods deserves to be left alone because he let it all overtake him, instead of just going home.

Nobody ever said it was going to be easy.