Never assume that a drive is just drive

This is an actual conversation with the 8, 8, and 10 year old boys, but that detail is painfully apparent.

Noah: Mommy,  I don’t like driving by that statue.

Me: Which one?

Noah: That one.

Sam: Of Michelangelo’s David.

Noah: Because he’s naked.

Me: What’d wrong with that? It’s just a body. Yours will look like that some day.

Aidan: But I can see his nuts.

[sensing an opportunity for education]

Me: What are you talking about when you say “nuts”?

Noah: His penis.

Me: You are wrong. When guys talk about their nuts they are talking about the other part of your privates.

Noah: Sometimes me and Aidan squeeze those.

Me: Each others?

Noah: No. Our own.

Me: Do you know what they are really called? 

[silence]

Me: Your testicles.

Aidan: That sounds like popsicles

[Insert eruptive laughter followed by tick-like repetition of the word “testicle”. Still trying to end on an educational note, I try to bring it home with: ]

Me: Sooooooo if you have any questions about your body or any changes, you can ask Daddy or me.

Noah: Like if I get a third testicle?