Whoa Mama

Thursday, December 20, 2007

just waiting

Noah: Mommy, I'm pooping. You need to come up when I'm done.

I go upstairs as instructed and stand waiting.

Noah: Mommy, I a little slipped and almost fell.

Mommy: Don't worry. You can't fall in.

Noah (glancing to the side in deep thought, allows about 15 seconds to pass. Then with a big sh*t-eating grin on his face inquires): But what about my head?

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I knew this day would come

THANK GOD for our wisdom of forethought because thanks to beautiful, precious, perfect Adelaide Garvey, I am no longer in control of my ovaries.

CONGRATULATIONS LISA, MIKE & MAEVE on your beautiful new addition!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Gingerbread House

Scott had a day of rehearsal followed by performances yesterday. So it was me and the entourage all day. Oh what to do?? Movies? Noggin? Kids OnDemand? NickJr.com? NO! Gingerbread house!!!!!

Sam & I prepped on Saturday with $30 worth of juju bees, necco wafers and melty mints. I pre-baked the g-bread so as not to have hovering, impatient designers breathing down my neck. Then Sunday a.m., I enlisted the engineer's assistance before he deserted me.

Problem #1, assembly. I thought I had gone to the right source. This man builds multi-million dollar buildings. At one point, as the walls were oozing away from one another, he actually muttered, "mmmm, that doesn't make sense."

Finally, it seemed like we were close, when, "Daddy, what are you doing?". "Yes, Noah, you can have a taste"

"What is Noah tasting?"

"OOooooo, Gingerbread house! Mommy, when are we decorating? Mommy, where are the treats? Mommy, we have treats? Mommy, can I have a snack? Mommy, when can we eat the gingerbread house? Mommy, how does it stick together? Mommy, when can I help? Mommy, is Daddy done yet? Mommy, I want to do it now. Mommy, can I lick it now? Mommy, where's Daddy going? Honey, I'm leaving...."

So for the next hour, we frosted everything and everyone and decorated to our hearts content and:

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!! Gotcha! Here's what we *really* made! Please note the left side of the roof mysteriously rising up from its wall?!

And now I give you, sugar buzzed children! Noah hasn't yet gotten his fill. Aidan is giving a prayer of thanks for all of his treats. Sammy is just too happy for words.

This is a snowman.

This is Noah's dog house. The bits of candy jammed in there are puppies. There is a candy cane chimney on top.

And from now until Christmas they can do this.


Thursday, December 13, 2007

Doing Good!

I am all for making your money work in ways that matter in the world. Check this one out!

Jealous Much?

I know my nieces will be! If you think for one minute that I haven't been sporting these around since they arrived, than we haven't met!

Thank you, Amber, for securing my position as favorite aunt!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

That One's Outta The Park!

Sammy is five. He also is a pretty sharp cookie. AND he rides the school bus. Multiply the factors in this equation and you get this entirely unprovoked question from the cheap seats:
Sammy: Mommy, how do babies come out.
Me: Do you mean how babies get out of their mommies' bellies? (I'm not new at being his mom. He could very well be asking how they get out of their diapers. On a day when both my computer and my vacuum cleaner broke, you can be sure that Sammy meant to ask just exactly what you think he asked!)
Sammy: Yes, how do babies got out of their mommies.
Me: Well (STEP UP, WOMAN!!) they come out of the vagina?
Sammy: What's the fah-g-eye-ner?
Me: That is what women have instead of a penis.
Sammy: lost in silent thought

Set, Match, Game.

Shout out to Esther & John, who have set a great example with Lulu. At 2 1/2, their precious darling daughter gratuitously confirms the gender of many people in whom she comes in contact.