Whoa Mama

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

ill equipped

Perhaps this has been mentioned, but I may have been ill-prepared for mothering boys. My sister is a Boy Mommy; my brother, well, is a boy. If you asked anyone who knew me 10 years ago, I definitely had all the makings of a mother of girls, perhaps a boy or two. Not mutually exclusive but certainly leaning towards girls.

Apparently I checked the wrong box. And I got Sam. The boy who was obviously meant to be ours. In my glee, I the next time I accidentally checked the "2" box.

So here I am the mother of 3 boys who are 2 years apart. A whole bunch of dirty years and so much chaos and then the fun really kicked in. Now I'm having to tussle with burgeoning big-boyhood.

Aidan: Mommy, Fletcher says when he gets hit during recess 'ow my nuts'. Do you know what he's talking about? (he clearly did)

Me: yes

Aidan: what?

I'm formulating a response, when he delivers (with strategic use of the dramatic whisper)

Aidan: he's talking about his critch. That rhymes with nitch. I can say 'son of a nitch' in german. The veteran who came to talk to us on Veteran's Day taught us.

I don't even mind the 'nitch' largely because he doesn't know what he's saying or is he saying it correctly. Nor am I especially worried about an old vet teaching them foreign curses. It is the 'nuts' and 'critch' that I'm hung up on. I have a hard enough time with the actual biology, but can rise to the occasion when necessary. At the risk of future embarrassment, I just cannot see how I need to expand their vocabulary for more words to cover their junk.

Daddy may have to address the rude awakening when some son of a nitch aimed right at the critch and got him in the nuts!

Monday, December 05, 2011

oh snap!

Without getting into the ugly details, my oldest had a very bad time at his after school program today. He does not have to spend much time there on a typical week and he usually doesn't mind at all. Today was without question, the exception.

I went to pick them all up and the group leader came out to tell me that the group had had a very bad day with behavior among other things. He quickly add that S was not involved at all, but that he thought I should know as things had been so bad. Well my guy blew past him and was headed out the door when he was called back. He was clearly steaming, but wasn't going to say a word.

When nudged a bit, he rounded on the leader with "EVERYTHING HERE SAYS "Boys and Girls Club, a **positive** place for kids. It says a positive place for kids. Well it was NOT positive today!"

It all turned out fine, but I cannot help but score one for the smart kid whose mom has a degree in social work.